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Slaglistens Slagferdigheter(?)

Månedens gode historie(r)

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Humørsiden

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Innhold:

1. Månedens gode historie:

Vi fortsetter vår gripende serie om truede seksuelle minoriteter. Forrige måneds rørende historie fra Håvard Vold i USA, om den lesbiske Cowboy, har vakt berettiget oppsikt og denne måned følger vi altså temaet opp med et bidrag fra min bror, Svein Ruud, som bor i London, dog ikke riktig  på Eton Place eller i Belgravia hvor dette dramaet må formodes å være utspilt.  Fortsetter våre humorsider på denne miljøbevisste sti blir vi kanskje snart målet for en minidokumentar fra BBC med David Attenborough og får bruke pandaen fra WWF,  som logo! Så nå er forventningene skyhøye til neste måneds bidrag fra dere!

1. Story of the Month

We continue our gripping series on endangered sexual minorities. Last month's moving story from Havard Vold in USA, about the Lesbian Cowboy, has attracted some well deserved attention, so this month a related theme is followed up by my brother, Svein Ruud, who lives in London, though not quite on Eton Place or in Belgravia, where this months's touching little drama  must be assumed to have taken place. If our humour pages keep on moving down this environmental track, we may become the target of a  mini-documentary series by the BBC with David Attenborough, and may ultimately, also be granted the right to use the WWF-panda on our humor pages! Just so that you're all aware of the stakes and that our expectations regarding your contributions for next month are now really sky high!

2. Spørsmål og paradokser / Questions and Paradoxes

Don Lautzenhiser på STROKE-L  har  endel. spørsmål og paradokser, som han gjerne vil dele med oss.
Hans hjemmesider er på: http://www.mailbag.com/users/dmystify/index.html

Don Lautzenhiser on the American STROKE-L Stroke Discussion list has several questions and paradoxes he wants to share with us.
His Homepage is:  http://www.mailbag.com/users/dmystify/index.html

Trond Ruud

1. Månedens gode historie/Story of the Month: The Butler

A wealthy couple had planned to go out to a party for the evening.
The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the rest of the
night off. She said that they would be home very late and that he should just enjoy his
evening.

As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time, so she came
home early, alone. Her husband decided to stay behind, as several of his
important clients were at the party.

As the woman walked into her house she saw Jeeves sitting by himself in the
dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master
bedroom.
She then firmly closed the door.

She looked at him and smiled. "Jeeves", she said; "Take off my dress !"
He did this carefully.
"Jeeves", she continued; "Take off my stockings and garter."
He silently obeyed her...
"Jeeves", she then said; "Now, remove my bra and panties !"

He did so, and the tension continued to mount.
Finally, she looked intensely at him and exclaimed:
"Jeeves", if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired !"

Svein Ruud

2. Noen vitale spørsmål/ Some vital Questions and Paradoxes

Hope this finds you all happy healthy and wise! *S* As Seinfield draws
to an end...thought you might enjoy these...

Subject: "Seinfeldisms"

1. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
2. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. How do I set my laser printer on stun?
5. How is it possible to have a civil war?
6. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
8. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
9. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
10. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
11. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
12. If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
13. If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
14. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
15. Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
16. Why do they call them "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
17. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
18. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
19. What happens when none of your bees wax?
20. Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
21. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?
22. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
23. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why
doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
24. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have
monkeys and apes?
25. Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?
26. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
27. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are
they all still working?

Don Lautzenhiser