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NB!Det har vært klager på at skriften på denne siden er for stor, slik at ikke alt synes på mindre skjermer uten at man flytter siden frem og tilbake, som jo er ganske tungvint! I Internet Explorer løses dette problemet lett, ved å gå inn i menyen View->Font og der trykke på "smaller", som forminsker skriften, inntil du får en størrelse som passer (I Netscape går man inn på View og klikker på: decrease font)
Slaglistens Slagferdigheter(?) Månedens gode historie(r) NB! Hensikten med denne siden
er ikke å være et "vitse-mesterskap"! Humørsiden
Innhold:
Vennligst send dine muntre bidrag og forslag merket "Humørsidenørsiden" til troruud@tiscali.no
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By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. | |
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. | |
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. | |
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. | |
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983. | |
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. | |
I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. | |
Discharge status: Alive but without permission. | |
The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him. | |
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful. | |
The patient refused an autopsy. | |
The patient has no past history of suicides. | |
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully. | |
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. | |
The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. | |
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December | |
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room. | |
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. | |
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. | |
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. | |
Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up. | |
She is numb from her toes down. | |
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. | |
The skin was moist and dry. | |
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. | |
Coming from Detroit, this man has no children. | |
Patient was alert and unresponsive. | |
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. |
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"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 | |
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.' --Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 | |
"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." --The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957 | |
"But what ... is it good for?" --Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip. | |
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." --Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp.,1977 | |
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered
as a means of communication.The device is inherently of no value to
us."
--Western Union internal memo, 1876.
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"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value.Who would
pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
--David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment
in the radio in the 1920s.
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"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn
better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible."
--A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's
paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to
found Federal Express Corp.)
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"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
--H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
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"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not
Gary Cooper."
--Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."
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"A cookie store is a bad idea.Besides, the market research reports
say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you
make."
--Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.
| |
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.'
--Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
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"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
--Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.
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"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The
literature was full of examples that said you can't do this."
--Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3M
Post-It" Notepads.
| |
"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you.We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you.You haven't got through college yet."' --Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and HP interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer. | |
"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools." --1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work. | |
"You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles?It can't be done.It's just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training." --Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the "unsolvable" problem by inventing Nautilus. "Drill for oil?You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy." --Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859. | |
"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." --Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929. | |
"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." --Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre. | |
"Everything that can be invented has been invented." --Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899. | |
"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction." --Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872 | |
"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon." --Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873. | |
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." --Bill Gates, 1981 |
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